Drunk UK Motorist Crashes While Masturbating, Kills Two [Offbeat News]

After attempts to secure a prostitute failed, a belligerently drunk UK driver crashed his Audi Q7 into the back of a Fiat Punto while pleasuring himself, killing two and injuring a third.

File this one under "What Where You Thinking?" After an argument with his wife, Imran Hussain got belligerently drunk and after attempts to secure a prostitute failed, pleasured himself while driving in his Audi Q7. Everything was fine and dandy until he crashed into the back of a Fiat Punto at speed, killing Gary Proctor, 47, and son James, 16, and seriously injuring wife Catherine, age 44.

First responders reported Hussain fleeing the scene with his erect member exposed and hurling insults towards onlookers. It's doubtful there are words in the English language to properly berate this kind of irresponsible asshatery, but Hussain has been sentenced to eight years in jail, which is breathtakingly brief for such record-breaking levels of douchebaggery. [BBC.co.uk]